Choosing a life partner is the biggest decision you’ll make outside of choosing to accept Jesus Christ as Savior.  Let me leave you with just a few thoughts on choosing a life partner.

Love God –  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Matthew 22:37-39). It is so important to observe your partner’s love for God. Why? Because in time, the way he or she loves and serves Him will be reflected in the way he or she loves and serves you.

Person of character – “Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.” (Psalm 119:1, NIV). Men and women of character are trustworthy in all they do and have an appetite for righteousness. They will keep their word no matter what the cost.

Kind to others –  “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) If you don’t see your partner treat others with kindness and grace, in time he/she will be treating you the same way.

Honors and respect parents –  “Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.” (Ephesians 6:2) I have never yet met a young person who is truly successful or blessed who doesn’t love his or her parents.

Respected by others –  “Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1) Be wise about how you do this, but I would recommend that you discreetly ask a few people what they have observed about the person you’re considering. Pay as much attention to their hesitations as to their words!

Know their true priorities –  “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12) Watch closely to see signs of your partner’s love, faith, and purity. Has this person put God first? Does this person live to serve others? Is this person selfish?

Ask the Lord for discernment – “Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul… May your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” (Psalm 143:8,10). “Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Pray – “Show me the path where I should walk, O lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” (Psalm 25:4-5).


Adapted from Just in Case I Can’t be There © 1999 by Ron Mehl. Used by permission of Multnomah Publishers, Inc. Excerpt may not be reproduced without the prior written consent of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.